Dark Heroine Sheik

The title's from a video I was watching, I thought it sounded pretty kik. Anyways. I don't really have anything going on, today was pretty boring. 

I do, however, bring you TWO (that's right, not one, not one and a half, TWO) unintended sexual remarks. OH WAIT. I bring you THREE unintended sexual remarks. How great am I?

Sexual remark No.1: Hebrew class. My teacher just taught us the word for piano, and I quote, "Now that I taught you guys how to say piano, how would you say penis?"

*Everyone looks really confused*

"Come on, it's not hard -"

"That's what she said!"

"-how do you say PENIS?"

"Penis?"

"Yeah, penis. Pe-nis. PENIS PENIS PENIS."

My dear hebrew teacher, I think you meant PIANIST.

Sexual remark No.2: Spanish class. (Crazy language class coincidence? I think not.) 

Mr. Jakob: Bojangles (yes, there's a kid named BoJangles), read the lesson aim from the board.

Bojangles: Pagina trescientos y dos, #3. Acaben!

Sounds normal, right? (Well not if you don't know spanish, but whatever.) Pagina is pronounced Pa-hina. Guess how he pronounced it. That's right. Vagina with a freakin' P. PAJINA. What the hell is a PAJINA.

Sexual remark No. 3: Hebrew class. (I TOLD you it wasn't a coincidence, you didn't believe me!)

Kid: Mr. Lancestein are those new pants?

Mr. Lancestein: Yeah, they're nice right? I like the back pockets, did you see them?

Kid: Mr. Lancestein I don't tend to stare at your ass-

Other kid: I tend to stare at your ass sir!

Mr. Lancestein: Extra credit!

Okay I admit, not exactly unintentional. I wonder if that kid ever did get the extra credit...

That's all for now. OH except I have a newfound love for Linkin Park and Grey's Anatomy. Okay THAT'S all for now. 

She's Got a Ticket to Ride!

No, it's not a sexual innuendo. And in this case, I DO care (reference to the song). I'm leaving an oh so crazy loft in New York to stay in an oh so stereotypical house in New Jersey for a few days. It's a REALLY NICE house. Not to mention Laura's fridge is stacked full of Red Bull. We're gonna go to Candace's seder (and yes, I AM making her put an orange on the seder plate, of course!), and her football (sorry, soccer) game - not that we plan to, but I'm sure we'll end up going anyways. Apparently this girl I know is gonna be there. And apparently I scared her two years ago because I told her I was in the mafia. That's just...fantastic. I love it! 

And blogger is now telling me that fantastic is not a word. Wow. I feel like writing a bunch of random words like bumfluff and seeing if it knows about them. And for your information, it's saying bumfluff isn't a word. Psssshhh. (...Is also not a word, it seems. But floccinaucinihilipilification is. HAHAHAHAH!)

Anyways. Today a kid used my name for his Spanish homework. He had to read it out to the class and at the end this other guy goes, "Davy?! But that's a mans name!"

It was beautiful, how red his face turned. 

After that, I went to bio class where Brendan and I presented on PID (Pelvic Inflammatory Disease) and the origin of douche bag. I got to say douche bag to the teacher somewhere around sixty times (I may have abused my privileges just a little...) while Brendan drew it on the board. Then David text messaged me, while I'm still presenting mind you, to tell me that my dear partner spelled douche wrong. And he KNOWS I'm not allowed to have a cell phone (I've had a few incidents in bio class before concerning it) -- he just wanted to see me pretend that I can't feel my pocket vibrating. Thank god I was behind a desk and the teacher couldn't see. In retrospect, it was pretty funny. Everyone loved our presentation, and I think we did the least work out of everybody in terms of our project. All in all, a good day. L'chaim!

'Ello, England?

I know I haven't posted in forever. But really, I've had nothing to say. My life's been pretty monotonous. Writing from the daughterland of America, I can say my life's not quite so monotonous anymore. Because I might be going to the Motherland. That's right. I might be moving to England. 

Should I be scared? Nothing's going to happen for a while yet. But the weirdest thing happened today. I woke up, and thought about living in England. My mom's said stuff before about moving to another country if she gets a better job, and I always just don't think about it. If you don't worry, it won't happen. It's always worked before. But I can't stop thinking about this. Do I want to live there...? I don't know. Because I'm actually not that upset at the prospect. 

I'd only live there for two years, or 'til the end of high school. Is it worth it to leave Stuyvesant? I don't like Stuyvesant much. Like at all. Education-wise, though, going there could positively affect the rest of my life. Then again, to get into an ivy league college like the ones I want to go to you have to be in the top 8% at Stuy, which I'm not. I'd actually have a better chance of getting into ivy league American colleges if I went to school in England instead. 

AUGH. I'm so conflicted. It doesn't help that my ipod went off in the middle of the night, and when I woke up it was playing Breakaway. 'Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye, you gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change...I won't forget the place I've come from...But you've got to breakaway.' Greattt. 

I'm thinking about friends too. I love my friends in America, but most of my best friends don't live in the City anyways. Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today...HE was going to New York. I'm leaving New York. Weird? Very. 

Very very very.

Did That Make Me Crazy?

The filming project was a no-go. My teachers flipped out when they saw me with a camera. So did a few kids, too. Lord. What is this world coming to, when people are too ashamed to look themselves in the eye and say something utterly idiotic? I've never been to ashamed to do that. Which brings me to another point, I think people are totally mistaken when it comes to defining maturity. Mature people can have fun too, can't they? They deserve it more than immature people. I feel like there's three stages, 1 where you're immature, 2 where you realise you're immature and try to be mature, and 3 where you realise it's good to know you were being immature but that doesn't mean you have to be someone you're not. Maybe there's a fourth where you just explode from all the damn deepness of it all, but thankfully I don't think I've reached that just yet. Maybe next time.

Bananans and Sexy Time

Just got off a six hour phone call with Becky and Chloe. I love them so much it's hilariousss. I live in America, Chloe in Pennsylvania (which is apparently NOT part of America), and Becky in Kazakhstan. Which means while it was 2 pm for us, it was 2 am for her. In a nutshell, we just made her pull an all-nighter. AND she's going to Turkey tomorrow. I can't wait to see them at Na'aleh, we're apart waaayy too long during the year -- we might actually go sane at this rate. Anyways I thought you'd enjoy a little excerpt from our conversation ^-^: 

Bex: What time is it there?

Chloe: Seven

Me: A million

Bex: It's like there's the rational one and then the irrational one...sevillion!

Me: In some cultures it IS a million

Chloe: In some cultures Davy would be burned at the stake for her stupidity...did I say that?

Bex: I'm like the apple of dischord or whatever, I keep starting all these fights

Me: Chloe is like Adam

Chloe: You're like the apple of sexinessssss

Me: NAKEDDDDD

All right, excerpt done. I didn't warn you, and I probably should have. Basically imagine this times six hours. It's almost as good as Hugh Laurie. 

MAYBE EVEN BETTER. 

Ladyy

well the story goes lizabiza made an amazinggg blog and wanted me to. so i did. because my life is very very boring. ANYWAYS. Today was okay. my spanish teacher has a theory i'm in love with this kid in the class hassama (spelling?) and he now refers to me as hassama's chica instead of feminist as he did previously. Hassama complained that he had no chest, and I really hope that doesn't mean what I think it means, because that would be mucho weirdo. And FYI, i'm NOT in love with him, that was totally random. On another totally random note I take swimgym and we had to play water polo today. Heather and I spent the whole time splashing people to confuse them, which was fun. And my hair actually stayed pretty dry thanks to those awful gay pride caps we have to wear. At least mine is gay pride because, noooo, there were no normal ones left. So anyhow this was some fun rambling, and on the off chance someone might read this i'm gonna stop talking now just to spite them.